5 Reasons Craig Venter Might Kill You

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You may have heard of Craig Venter before, as his former company Celera Genomics was one of the two groups responsible for publishing the first human genome sequence. However, Craig Venter is crazy. So crazy, that Craig Venter just might kill you if you get him angry. Why, you ask? Here are five starter reasons:

5. He’s infamously cut-throat

He’s been called alternately “Darth Venter“, “a one man superpower “, and “an asshole”. But how did Venter get this reputation? It likely has something to do with him patenting human gene sequences for profit. Also, blowing up Alderaan.

4. He was in Viet-Nam

That’s right, Venter was in the shit. Probably explains the 1000-yard stare in this picture.

3. He’s a billionaire

Craig Venter is so damn rich that he could pay to have a piano dropped on you and your loved ones, every day of the year for the next 300 hundred years [($1,000,000,000 / $8000)/365]. Plus, he has two magic science boats, a team of brilliant lackies, and a cool rain jacket.

2. He sequenced his own genome

He really did. If you think one Craig Venter might kill you, imagine what an army of clone-Venters could achieve.

1. His lab recently created the first synthetic genome

If you thought Venter’s heyday had past, think again. The J. Craig Venter Institute is has been busy creating life from scratch in the lab. While the JCVI argues that their technology could be used to create bacteria that produce electricity/oil/hydrogen, I can only think this might be the start of something bad, especially coming from Darth Venter.

18 thoughts on “5 Reasons Craig Venter Might Kill You

  1. Venter is pretty bad ass, check out this quote from a CNN interview:

    Well, I was probably approaching surfing aggressively, but definitely enjoying the surfing lifestyle. I started with a swimming career, so it was great to be in the ocean all the time. I was a corpsman in Danang and actually turned 21 in Vietnam and it was a major turning point. You can’t live through a situation like that and come out of it with the same laissez-faire attitude that you might approach surfing with before that.

    AGGRESSIVELY SURFING!

  2. Also, Craig Venter Facts anyone?

    -Craig Venter doesn’t get viruses, he sequences viruses.

    -Craig Venter doesn’t express emotions, he expresses genes.

  3. Pingback: venters
  4. Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to
    produce a top notch article… but what can I say…
    I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

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