Stock photography offers a candid look at the essence of any “keyword” through the eyes of the general public. Given the renewed interest in my original Awkward Science Stock Photography post, I decided to check if the essence of science has changed over the years. Are all scientists merely chemists, confounded by an endless spectrum of coloured liquids? Let’s test this hypothesis by piecing together the process of Science using stock photography from the search-term “scientist” alone.
It all begins at the lab window where various molecules are drawn using markers. Mathematicians do it, so why not scientists?
Next, scientists obtain chemicals and set up their work area. If they’re a female scientist they often do this in a revealing or full-on nude way.
Female scientists should check their make-up and hair before things get too crazy. Before:
The aim of a scientist is to observe a coloured liquid and learn from it, but before they truly observe a liquid they must first engage in pouring and mixing.
This one is actually pretty badass… great pour.
Mixing is also important and some scientists will opt for the force to mix their liquid.
It’s easy to become miserable after lots of pouring and mixing
A soothing bench nap supported by the comfort of chemical laden gloves or jagged electronics will help.
She’s disappointed because it’s clear. Failed experiment.
This man could not assemble the molecular model kit. Experiment failed.
Next, it’s finally time for the scientist to observe the liquid! Way too close though.
The color of said liquid may induce shock. This is when you know you’re doing high-quality Science.
To be fair, microscopes can also be shocking.
Now that the hard work is over, the scientist may enjoy the fruits of his or her labour.
Certain coloured liquids warrant a phone-call to the local newspaper for immediate publication in the science column.
Occasionally, the best fluids are injected into food to improve crop yields. How else can a scientist get paid?
Scientists may also need to expose mice or dogs to your fluids in order to make designer cosmetics.
At the end of the day, scientists coddle their prized liquids by snuggling and cradling them.
As a scientist, I can verify this sequence of events resulting in Science is more or less correct. Thank you stock photographers!